S.Dr. Hold sir, for Gods sake, now your iest is earnest, Vpon what bargaine do you giue it me? Antiph. Because that I familiarlie sometimes Doe vse you for my foole, and chat with you, Your sawcinesse will iest vpon my loue, And make a Common of my serious howres, When the sunne shines, let foolish gnats make sport, But creepe in crannies, when he hides his beames: If you will iest with me, know my aspect, And fashion your demeanor to my lookes, Or I will beat this method in your sconce
S.Dro. Sconce call you it? so you would leaue battering, I had rather haue it a head, and you vse these blows long, I must get a sconce for my head, and Insconce it to, or else I shall seek my wit in my shoulders, but I pray sir, why am I beaten? Ant. Dost thou not know? S.Dro. Nothing sir, but that I am beaten
Ant. Shall I tell you why? S.Dro. I sir, and wherefore; for they say, euery why hath a wherefore
Ant. Why first for flowting me, and then wherefore, for vrging it the second time to me
S.Dro. Was there euer anie man thus beaten out of season, when in the why and the wherefore, is neither rime nor reason. Well sir, I thanke you
Ant. Thanke me sir, for what? S.Dro. Marry sir, for this something that you gaue me for nothing
Ant. Ile make you amends next, to giue you nothing for something. But say sir, is it dinner time? S.Dro. No sir, I thinke the meat wants that I haue
Ant. In good time sir: what's that? S.Dro. Basting
Ant. Well sir, then 'twill be drie
S.Dro. If it be sir, I pray you eat none of it
Ant. Your reason? S.Dro. Lest it make you chollericke, and purchase me another drie basting
Ant. Well sir, learne to iest in good time, there's a time for all things
S.Dro. I durst haue denied that before you were so chollericke
Anti. By what rule sir? S.Dro. Marry sir, by a rule as plaine as the plaine bald pate of Father time himselfe
Ant. Let's heare it
S.Dro. There's no time for a man to recouer his haire that growes bald by nature
Ant. May he not doe it by fine and recouerie? S.Dro. Yes, to pay a fine for a perewig, and recouer the lost haire of another man
Ant. Why, is Time such a niggard of haire, being (as it is) so plentifull an excrement? S.Dro. Because it is a blessing that hee bestowes on beasts, and what he hath scanted them in haire, hee hath giuen them in wit
Ant. Why, but theres manie a man hath more haire then wit
S.Dro. Not a man of those but he hath the wit to lose his haire
Ant. Why thou didst conclude hairy men plain dealers without wit
S.Dro. The plainer dealer, the sooner lost; yet he looseth it in a kinde of iollitie
An. For what reason
S.Dro. For two, and sound ones to
An. Nay not sound I pray you
S.Dro. Sure ones then
An. Nay, not sure in a thing falsing
S.Dro. Certaine ones then
An. Name them
S.Dro. The one to saue the money that he spends in trying: the other, that at dinner they should not drop in his porrage
An. You would all this time haue prou'd, there is no time for all things
S.Dro. Marry and did sir: namely, in no time to recouer haire lost by Nature
An. But your reason was not substantiall, why there is no time to recouer