Pet. When you are gentle, you shall haue one too, And not till then

Hor. That will not be in hast

Kate. Why sir I trust I may haue leaue to speake, And speake I will. I am no childe, no babe, Your betters haue indur'd me say my minde, And if you cannot, best you stop your eares. My tongue will tell the anger of my heart, Or els my heart concealing it wil breake, And rather then it shall, I will be free, Euen to the vttermost as I please in words

Pet. Why thou saist true, it is paltrie cap, A custard coffen, a bauble, a silken pie, I loue thee well in that thou lik'st it not

Kate. Loue me, or loue me not, I like the cap, And it I will haue, or I will haue none

Pet. Thy gowne, why I: come Tailor let vs see't. Oh mercie God, what masking stuffe is heere? Whats this? a sleeue? 'tis like demi cannon, What, vp and downe caru'd like an apple Tart? Heers snip, and nip, and cut, and slish and slash, Like to a Censor in a barbers shoppe: Why what a deuils name Tailor cal'st thou this? Hor. I see shees like to haue neither cap nor gowne

Tai. You bid me make it orderlie and well, According to the fashion, and the time

Pet. Marrie and did: but if you be remembred, I did not bid you marre it to the time. Go hop me ouer euery kennell home, For you shall hop without my custome sir: Ile none of it; hence, make your best of it

Kate. I neuer saw a better fashion'd gowne, More queint, more pleasing, nor more commendable: Belike you meane to make a puppet of me

Pet. Why true, he meanes to make a puppet of thee

Tail. She saies your Worship meanes to make a puppet of her

Pet. Oh monstrous arrogance: Thou lyest, thou thred, thou thimble, Thou yard three quarters, halfe yard, quarter, naile, Thou Flea, thou Nit, thou winter cricket thou: Brau'd in mine owne house with a skeine of thred: Away thou Ragge, thou quantitie, thou remnant, Or I shall so be-mete thee with thy yard, As thou shalt thinke on prating whil'st thou liu'st: I tell thee I, that thou hast marr'd her gowne

Tail. Your worship is deceiu'd, the gowne is made Iust as my master had direction: Grumio gaue order how it should be done

Gru. I gaue him no order, I gaue him the stuffe

Tail. But how did you desire it should be made? Gru. Marrie sir with needle and thred

Tail. But did you not request to haue it cut? Gru. Thou hast fac'd many things

Tail. I haue

Gru. Face not mee: thou hast brau'd manie men, braue not me; I will neither bee fac'd nor brau'd. I say vnto thee, I bid thy Master cut out the gowne, but I did not bid him cut it to peeces. Ergo thou liest

Tail. Why heere is the note of the fashion to testify

Pet. Reade it

Gru. The note lies in's throate if he say I said so

Tail. Inprimis, a loose bodied gowne

Gru. Master, if euer I said loose-bodied gowne, sow me in the skirts of it, and beate me to death with a bottome of browne thred: I said a gowne

Pet. Proceede

Tai. With a small compast cape

Gru. I confesse the cape

Tai. With a trunke sleeue

Gru. I confesse two sleeues

Tai. The sleeues curiously cut

Pet. I there's the villanie

Gru. Error i'th bill sir, error i'th bill? I commanded the sleeues should be cut out, and sow'd vp againe, and that Ile proue vpon thee, though thy little finger be armed in a thimble

William Shakespeare
Classic Literature Library

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