To. Ioue blesse thee M[aster]. Parson
Clo. Bonos dies sir Toby: for as the old hermit of Prage that neuer saw pen and inke, very wittily sayd to a Neece of King Gorbodacke, that that is, is: so I being M[aster]. Parson, am M[aster]. Parson; for what is that, but that? and is, but is? To. To him sir Topas
Clow. What hoa, I say, Peace in this prison
To. The knaue counterfets well: a good knaue.
Maluolio within.
Mal. Who cals there? Clo. Sir Topas the Curate, who comes to visit Maluolio the Lunaticke
Mal. Sir Topas, sir Topas, good sir Topas goe to my Ladie
Clo. Out hyperbolicall fiend, how vexest thou this man? Talkest thou nothing but of Ladies? Tob. Well said M[aster]. Parson
Mal. Sir Topas, neuer was man thus wronged, good sir Topas do not thinke I am mad: they haue layde mee heere in hideous darknesse
Clo. Fye, thou dishonest sathan: I call thee by the most modest termes, for I am one of those gentle ones, that will vse the diuell himselfe with curtesie: sayst thou that house is darke? Mal. As hell sir Topas
Clo. Why it hath bay Windowes transparant as baricadoes, and the cleere stores toward the South north, are as lustrous as Ebony: and yet complainest thou of obstruction? Mal. I am not mad sir Topas, I say to you this house is darke
Clo. Madman thou errest: I say there is no darknesse but ignorance, in which thou art more puzel'd then the aegyptians in their fogge
Mal. I say this house is as darke as Ignorance, thogh Ignorance were as darke as hell; and I say there was neuer man thus abus'd, I am no more madde then you are, make the triall of it in any constant question
Clo. What is the opinion of Pythagoras concerning Wilde-fowle? Mal. That the soule of our grandam, might happily inhabite a bird
Clo. What thinkst thou of his opinion? Mal. I thinke nobly of the soule, and no way aproue his opinion
Clo. Fare thee well: remaine thou still in darkenesse, thou shalt hold th' opinion of Pythagoras, ere I will allow of thy wits, and feare to kill a Woodcocke, lest thou dispossesse the soule of thy grandam. Fare thee well
Mal. Sir Topas, sir Topas
Tob. My most exquisite sir Topas
Clo. Nay I am for all waters
Mar. Thou mightst haue done this without thy berd and gowne, he sees thee not
To. To him in thine owne voyce, and bring me word how thou findst him: I would we were well ridde of this knauery. If he may bee conueniently deliuer'd, I would he were, for I am now so farre in offence with my Niece, that I cannot pursue with any safety this sport the vppeshot. Come by and by to my Chamber.
Exit
Clo. Hey Robin, iolly Robin, tell me how thy Lady does
Mal. Foole
Clo. My Lady is vnkind, perdie
Mal. Foole
Clo. Alas why is she so? Mal. Foole, I say
Clo. She loues another. Who calles, ha? Mal. Good foole, as euer thou wilt deserue well at my hand, helpe me to a Candle, and pen, inke, and paper: as I am a Gentleman, I will liue to bee thankefull to thee for't
Clo. M[aster]. Maluolio? Mal. I good Foole
Clo. Alas sir, how fell you besides your fiue witts? Mall. Foole, there was neuer man so notoriouslie abus'd: I am as well in my wits (foole) as thou art
Clo. But as well: then you are mad indeede, if you be no better in your wits then a foole