BUTLER. I go, my Sovereign.

KING. Butler!

BUTLER. My Lord.

KING. Go down by Greenwich, and command a boat At the Friar's bridge attend my coming down.

BUTLER. I will, my Lord.

[Exit.]

KING. It's time, I think, to look unto rebellion, When Acton doth expect unto his aid No less than fifty thousand Londoners. Well, I'll to Westminster in this disguise, To hear what news is stirring in these brawls.

[Enter sir John and Doll.]

SIR JOHN. Stand, true-man! says a thief.

KING. Stand, thief! says a true man. How if a thief?

SIR JOHN. Stand, thief, too.

KING. Then, thief or true-man, I see I must stand. I see, how soever the world wags, the trade of thieving yet will never down. What art thou?

SIR JOHN. A good fellow.

KING. So am I too. I see thou dost know me.

SIR JOHN. If thou be a good fellow, play the good fellow's part: deliver thy purse without more ado.

KING. I have no money.

SIR JOHN. I must make you find some before we part. If you have no money, you shall have war: as many sound dry blows as your skin can carry.

KING. Is that the plain truth?

SIR JOHN. Sirra, no more ado; come, come, give me the money you have. Dispatch, I cannot stand all day.

KING. Well, if thou wilt needs have it, there tis: just the proverb, one thief robs another. Where the devil are all my old thieves, that were wont to keep this walk? Falstaff, the villain, is so fat, he cannot get on's horse, but me thinks Poines and Peto should be stirring here about.

SIR JOHN. How much is there on't, of thy word?

KING. A hundred pound in Angels, on my word. The time has been I would have done as much For thee, if thou hadst past this way, as I have now.

SIR JOHN. Sirra, what art thou? thou seem'st a gentleman.

KING. I am no less; yet a poor one now, for thou hast all my money.

SIR JOHN. >From whence cam'st thou?

KING. >From the court at Eltham.

SIR JOHN. Art thou one of the King's servants?

KING. Yes, that I am, and one of his chamber.

SIR JOHN. I am glad thou art no worse; thou mayest the better spare thy money: & thinkst thou thou mightst get a poor thief his pardon, if he should have need.

KING. Yes, that I can.

SIR JOHN. Wilt thou do so much for me, when I shall have occasion?

KING. Yes, faith will I, so it be for no murther.

SIR JOHN. Nay, I am a pitiful thief; all the hurt I do a man, I take but his purse; I'll kill no man.

KING. Then, of my word, I'll do it.

SIR JOHN. Give me thy hand of the same.

KING. There tis.

SIR JOHN. Me thinks the King should be good to thieves, because he has been a thief himself, though I think now he be turned true-man.

KING. Faith, I have heard indeed he has had an ill name that way in his youth; but how canst thou tell he has been a thief?

SIR JOHN. How? Because he once robbed me before I fell to the trade my self; when that foul villainous guts, that led him to all that rogery, was in's company there, that Falstaff.

KING. [Aside.] Well, if he did rob thee then, thou art but even with him now, I'll be sworn.--Thou knowest not the king now, I think, if thou sawest him?

SIR JOHN. Not I, yfaith.

KING. [Aside.] So it should seem.

SIR JOHN. Well, if old King Henry had lived, this King that is now had made thieving the best trade in England.

KING. Why so?

SIR JOHN. Because he was the chief warden of our company. It's pity that e'er he should have been a King; he was so brave a thief. But, sirra, wilt remember my pardon if need be?

KING. Yes, faith, will I.

SIR JOHN. Wilt thou? well then, because thou shalt go safe--for thou mayest hap (being so early) be met with again before thou come to Southwark--if any man, when he should bid thee good morrow, bid thee stand, say thou but Sir John, and he will let thee pass.

KING. Is that the word? well, then, let me alone.

SIR JOHN. Nay, sirra, because I think indeed I shall have some occasion to use thee, & as thou comest oft this way, I may light on thee another time not knowing thee, here! I'll break this Angel. Take thou half of it; this is a token betwixt thee and me.

William Shakespeare
Classic Literature Library

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