Well, here I'll sit in the Church porch, and wait for the rest of my consort.
[Enter the Sexton.]
SEXTON. Here's a sky as black as Lucifer. God bless us! here was goodman Theophilus buried; he was the best Nutcracker that ever dwelt in Enfield. Well, tis 9. a clock, tis time to ring curfew. Lord bless us, what a white thing is that in the Church porch! O Lord, my legs are too weak for my body, my hair is too stiff for my night-cap, my heart fails; this is the ghost of Theophilus. O Lord, it follows me! I cannot say my prayers, and one would give me a thousand pound. Good spirit, I have bowled and drunk and followed the hounds with you a thousand times, though I have not the spirit now to deal with you. O Lord!
[Enter Priest.]
PRIEST. Grass and hey, we are all mortall. Who's there?
SEXTON. We are grass and hay indeed; I know you to be Master Parson by your phrase.
PRIEST. Sexton!
PRIEST. I, sir.
PRIEST. For mortalities sake, What's the matter?
SEXTON. O Lord, I am a man of another element; Master Theophilus Ghost is in the Church porch. There was a hundred Cats, all fire, dancing here even now, and they are clomb up to the top of the steeple; I'll not into the belfry for a world.
PRIEST. O good Salomon; I have been about a deed of darkness to night: O Lord, I saw fifteen spirits in the forest, like white bulls; if I lie, I am an arrant thief: mortality haunts us--grass and hay! the devils at our heels, and let's hence to the parsonage.
[Exeunt.]
[The Miller comes out very softly.]
MILLER. What noise was that? tis the watch, sure; that villanous unlucky rogue, Smug, is tain, upon my life; and then all our villeny comes out; I heard one cry, sure.
[Enter Host Blague.]
HOST. If I go steal any more venison, I am a Paradox: s'foot, I can scarce bear the sin of my flesh in the day, tis so heavy; if I turn not honest, and serve the good Duke of Norfolk, as true mareterraneum skinker should do, let me never look higher then the element of a Constable.
MILLER. By the Lord, there are some watchmen; I hear them name Maister Constable; I would to God my Mill were an Eunuch, and wanted her stones, so I were hence.
HOST. Who's there?
MILLER. Tis the Constable, by this light; I'll steal hence, and if I can meet mine host Blague, I'll tell him how Smug is tain, and will him to look to himself.
[Exit.]
HOST. What the devil is that white thing? this same is a Church- yard, and I have heard that ghosts and villenous goblins have been seen here.
[Enter Sexton and Priest.]
PRIEST. Grass and hay! O, that I could conjure! we saw a spirit here in the Church-yard; and in the fallow field there's the devil with a man's body upon his back in a white sheet.
SEXTON. It may be a woman's body, Sir John.
PRIEST. If she be a woman, the sheets damn her; Lord bless us, what a night of mortality is this!
HOST. Priest!
PRIEST. Mine host!
HOST. Did you not see a spirit all in white cross you at the stile?
SEXTON. O no, mine host; but there sate one in the porch; I have not breath ynough left to bless me from the Devil.
HOST. Who's that?
PRIEST. The Sexton, almost frighted out of his wits. Did you see Banks or Smug?
HOST. No, they are gone to Waltham, sure: I would fain hence; come, let's to my house: I'll ne'er serve the duke of Norfolk in this fashion again whilst I breath. If the devil be amongst us, tis time to hoist sail, and cry roomer. Keep together; Sexton, thou art secret, what? let's be comfortable one to Another.
PRIEST. We are all mortal, mine host.
HOST. True; and I'll serve God in the night hereafter afore the Duke of Norfolk.
[Exeunt.]
ACT V.
SCENE I. An Inn opposite the George, Waltham.
[Enter Sir Arthur Clare and Sir Ralph Jerningham, trussing their points as new up.]
SIR RAPH. Good morrow, gentle knight. A happy day after your short nights rest.
SIR ARTHUR. Ha, ha, sir Raph, stirring so soon indeed? Birlady, sir, rest would have done right well; Our riding late last night has made me drowsy. Go to, go to, those days are gone with us.