[Exit Pye-board.]
SCENE II. A Garden.
[Enter Nicholas Saint Tantlings with the chain.]
NICHOLAS. Oh, I have found an excellent advantage to take away the chain: my Master put it off e'en now to say on a new Doublet, and I sneak't it away by little and little most Puritanically. We shall have good sport anon when ha's missed it about my Cousin the Conjurer. The world shall see I'm an honest man of my word, for now I'm going to hang it between Heaven and Earth among the Rosemary branches.
[Exit Nicholas.]
ACTUS 3.
SCENE I. The street before the Widow's house.
[Enter Simon Saint Mary-Ovaries and Frailty.]
FRAILTY. Sirrah Simon Saint Mary-Ovaries, my Mistress sends away all her suitors and puts fleas in their ears.
SIMON. Frailty, she does like an honest, chaste, and virtuous woman; for widdows ought not to wallow in the puddle of iniquity.
FRAILTY. Yet, Simon, many widdows will do't, what so comes on't.
SIMON. True, Frailty, their filthy flesh desires a Conjunction Copulative. What strangers are within, Frailty?
FRAILTY. There's none, Simon, but Master Pilfer the Tailor: he's above with Sir Godfrey praising of a Doublet: and I must trudge anon to fetch Master Suds, the Barber.
SIMON. Master Suds,--a good man; he washes the sins of the Beard clean.
[Enter old Skirmish the soldier.]
SKIRMISH. How now, creatures? what's a clock?
FRAILTY. Why, do you take us to be Jack ath' Clock-house?
SKIRMISH. I say again to you what's a clock.
SIMON. Truly la, we go by the clock our conscience: all worldly Clocks, we know, go false, and are set by drunken Sextons.
SKIRMISH. Then what's a clock in your conscience?--oh, I must break off, here comes the corporal--hum, hum!--what's a clock?
[Enter Corporal.]
CORPORAL. A clock? why, past seventeen.
FRAILTY. Past seventeen? nay, ha's met with his match now, Corporal Oath will fit him.
SKIRMISH. Thou doost not bawk or baffle me, doost thou? I am a Soldier--past seventeen!
CORPORAL. Aye, thou art not angry with the figures, art thou? I will prove it unto thee: 12. and 1. is thirteen, I hope, 2. fourteen, 3. fifteen, 4. sixteen, and 5. Seventeen; then past seventeen: I will take the Dials part in a just cause.
SKIRMISH. I say 'tis but past five, then.
CORPORAL. I'll swear 'tis past seventeen, then: doost thou not know numbers? Canst thou not cast?
SKIRMISH. Cast? dost thou speak of my casting ith' street?
CORPORAL. Aye, and in the Market place.
SIMON. Clubs, clubs, clubs!
[Simon runs in.]
FRAILTY. Aye, I knew by their shuffling, Clubs would be Trump; mass, here's the Knave, and he can do any good upon 'em: Clubs, clubs, clubs.
[Enter Pye-board.]
CORPORAL. O villain, thou hast opened a vein in my leg.
PYE. How no! for shame, for shame; put up, put up.
CORPORAL. By yon blue Welkin, 'twas out of my part, George, to be hurt on the leg.
[Enter Officers.]
PYE. Oh peace now--I have a Cordial here to comfort thee.
OFFICER. Down with 'em, down with em; lay hands upon the villain.
SKIRMISH. Lay hands on me?
PYE. I'll not be seen among em now.
[Exit Pye-board.]
CORPORAL. I'm hurt, and had more need have Surgeons Lay hands upon me then rough Officers.
OFFICER. Go, carry him to be dressed then.
[Exeunt some of the Sheriff's Officers with Corporal Oath.]
This mutinous Soldier shall along with me to prison.
SKIRMISH. To prison? where's George?
OFFICER. Away with him.
[Exeunt with Skirmish.]
[Re-enter Pye-board.]
PYE. So. All lights as I would wish. The amazed widdow Will plant me strongly now in her belief, And wonder at the virtue of my words: For the event turns those presages from em Of being mad and dumb, and begets joy Mingled with admiration. These empty creatures, Soldier and Corporal, were but ordained As instruments for me to work upon. Now to my patient; here's his potion.
[Exit Pye-board.]
SCENE II. An apartment in the Widow's house.]
[Enter the Widdow with her two Daughters.]
WIDDOW. O wondrous happiness, beyond our thoughts: O lucky fair event! I think our fortunes, Were blest e'en in our Cradles: we are quitted Of all those shameful violent presages By this rash bleeding chance.