I'll bring you to Court, wean you among the fair society of ladies, poor Kinswomen of mine, in cloth of silver: beside, you shall have your Monkey, your Parrot, your Muskrat, and your pisse, pisse, pisse.

FRANCES. It will do very well.

WIDOW. What, dos he mean to conjure here then? how shall I do be rid of these Knights?--Please you, Gentlemen, to walk a while ith Garden: go gather a pink, or a Lily-flower.

BOTH. With all our hearts, Lady, and court us favourd.

[Exit. Within Sir Godfrey.]

SIR GODFREY. Step in, Nicholas; look, is the coast clear.

NICHOLAS. Oh, as clear as a Cat's eye, sir.

SIR GODFREY. Then enter, Captain Conjurer:--now--how like you your Room, sir?

[Enter Sir Godfrey, Captain Pye-board, Edmond, Nicholas.]

CAPTAIN. O, wonderful convenient.

EDMOND. I can tell you, Captain, simply tho it lies here, tis the fairest Room in my Mother's house: as dainty a Room to Conjure in, me thinks--why, you may bid, I cannot tell how many devils welcome in't; my Father has had twenty here at once.

PYE. What, devils?

EDMOND. Devils? no, Deputies, and the wealthiest men he could get.

SIR GODFREY. Nay, put by your chats now, fall to your business roundly: the feskewe of the Dial is upon the Chrisse-crosse of Noon, but oh, hear me, Captain, a qualm comes ore my stomach.

CAPTAIN. Why, what's the matter, sir?

SIR GODFREY. Oh, how if the devil should prove a knave, and tear the hangings?

CAPTAIN. Fuh, I warrant you, Sir Godfrey.

EDMOND. Aye, Nuncle, or spit fire up'oth ceiling!

SIR GODFREY. Very true, too, for tis but thin plastered, and twill quickly take hold a the laths, and if he chance to spit downward too, he will burn all the boards.

CAPTAIN. My life for yours, Sir Godfrey.

SIR GODFREY. My Sister is very curious and dainty ore this Room, I can tell, and therefore if he must needs spit, I pray desire him to spit ith Chimney.

PYE. Why, assure you, Sir Godfrey, he shall not be brought up with so little manners to spit and spaul a'th flower.

SIR GODFREY. Why, I thank you, good Captain; pray have a care. Aye, fall to your Circle; we'll not trouble you, I warrant you: come, we'll in to the next Room, and be cause we'll be sure to keep him out there, we'll bar up the door with some of the Godlies zealous work.

EDMOND. That will be a find device, Nuncle, and because the ground shall be as holy as the door, I'll tear two or three rosaries in pieces, and strew the leaves about the Chamber.

[Thunders.]

Oh, the devil already.

[Runs in.]

PYE. Sfoot, Captain, speak somewhat for shame; it lightens and thunders before thou wilt begin: why, when?

CAPTAIN. Pray, peace, George,--thou'lt make me laugh anon and spoil all.

PYE. Oh, now it begins again: now, now, now, Captain.

CAPTAIN. Rumbos--ragdayon, pur, pur, colucundrion, Hois-Plois.

SIR GODFREY. Oh admirable Conurer! has fetcht Thunder already:

[Sir Godfrey through the keyhole; within.]

PYE. Hark, hark! again, Captain!

CAPTAIN. Benjamino,--gaspois--kay--gosgothoteron--umbrois.

SIR GODFREY. Oh, I would the devil would come away quickly, he has no conscience to put a man to such pain.

PYE. Again!

CAPTAIN. Floste--Kakopumpos--dragone--Leloomenos--hodge--podge.

PYE. Well said, Captain.

SIR GODFREY. So long a coming? oh, would I had ne'er begun't now, for I fear me these roaring tempests will destroy all the fruits of the earth, and tread upon my corn--oh!--ith Country.

CAPTAIN. Gog de gog, hobgoblin, huncks, hounslow, hockley te coome parke.

WIDOW. [At the door.] O brother, brother, what a tempests ith Garden: sure there's some conjuration abroad.

SIR GODFREY. Tis at home, sister!

PYE. By and by, I'll step in, Captain.

CAPTAIN. Nunck--Nunck--Rip--Gascoynes, Ipis, Drip--Dropite.

SIR GODFREY. He drips and drops, poor man! alas, alas.

PYE. Now I come.

CAPTAIN. O Sulphure Sooteface--

PYE. Arch-conjurer, what wouldst thou with me?

SIR GODFREY. O the devil, sister, ith dining Chamber! sing, Sister, I warrant you that will keep him out: quickly, quickly, quickly.

William Shakespeare
Classic Literature Library

All Pages of This Book