Mar. And you too sir
Tob. Accost Sir Andrew, accost
And. What's that? To. My Neeces Chamber-maid
Ma. Good Mistris accost, I desire better acquaintance Ma. My name is Mary sir
And. Good mistris Mary, accost
To, You mistake knight: Accost, is front her, boord her, woe her, assayle her
And. By my troth I would not vndertake her in this company. Is that the meaning of Accost? Ma. Far you well Gentlemen
To. And thou let part so Sir Andrew, would thou mightst neuer draw sword agen
And. And you part so mistris, I would I might neuer draw sword agen: Faire Lady, doe you thinke you haue fooles in hand? Ma. Sir, I haue not you by'th hand
An. Marry but you shall haue, and heeres my hand
Ma. Now sir, thought is free: I pray you bring your hand to'th Buttry barre, and let it drinke
An. Wherefore (sweet-heart?) What's your Metaphor? Ma. It's dry sir
And. Why I thinke so: I am not such an asse, but I can keepe my hand dry. But what's your iest? Ma. A dry iest Sir
And. Are you full of them? Ma. I Sir, I haue them at my fingers ends: marry now I let go your hand, I am barren.
Exit Maria
To. O knight, thou lack'st a cup of Canarie: when did I see thee so put downe? An. Neuer in your life I thinke, vnlesse you see Canarie put me downe: mee thinkes sometimes I haue no more wit then a Christian, or an ordinary man ha's: but I am a great eater of beefe, and I beleeue that does harme to my wit
To. No question
An. And I thought that, I'de forsweare it. Ile ride home to morrow sir Toby
To. Pur-quoy my deere knight? An. What is purquoy? Do, or not do? I would I had bestowed that time in the tongues, that I haue in fencing dancing, and beare-bayting: O had I but followed the Arts
To. Then hadst thou had an excellent head of haire
An. Why, would that haue mended my haire? To. Past question, for thou seest it will not coole my nature An. But it becoms me wel enough, dost not? To. Excellent, it hangs like flax on a distaffe: & I hope to see a huswife take thee between her legs, & spin it off
An. Faith Ile home to morrow sir Toby, your niece wil not be seene, or if she be it's four to one, she'l none of me: the Count himselfe here hard by, wooes her
To. Shee'l none o'th Count, she'l not match aboue hir degree, neither in estate, yeares, nor wit: I haue heard her swear't. Tut there's life in't man
And. Ile stay a moneth longer. I am a fellow o'th strangest minde i'th world: I delight in Maskes and Reuels sometimes altogether
To. Art thou good at these kicke-chawses Knight? And. As any man in Illyria, whatsoeuer he be, vnder the degree of my betters, & yet I will not compare with an old man
To. What is thy excellence in a galliard, knight? And. Faith, I can cut a caper
To. And I can cut the Mutton too't
And. And I thinke I haue the backe-tricke, simply as strong as any man in Illyria
To. Wherefore are these things hid? Wherefore haue these gifts a Curtaine before 'em? Are they like to take dust, like mistris Mals picture? Why dost thou not goe to Church in a Galliard, and come home in a Carranto? My verie walke should be a Iigge: I would not so much as make water but in a Sinke-a-pace: What dooest thou meane? Is it a world to hide vertues in? I did thinke by the excellent constitution of thy legge, it was form'd vnder the starre of a Galliard