Clo. Beshrew me, the knights in admirable fooling
An. I, he do's well enough if he be dispos'd, and so do I too: he does it with a better grace, but I do it more naturall
To. O the twelfe day of December
Mar. For the loue o' God peace. Enter Maluolio.
Mal. My masters are you mad? Or what are you? Haue you no wit, manners, nor honestie, but to gabble like Tinkers at this time of night? Do yee make an Alehouse of my Ladies house, that ye squeak out your Coziers Catches without any mitigation or remorse of voice? Is there no respect of place, persons, nor time in you? To. We did keepe time sir in our Catches. Snecke vp
Mal. Sir Toby, I must be round with you. My Lady bad me tell you, that though she harbors you as her kinsman, she's nothing ally'd to your disorders. If you can separate your selfe and your misdemeanors, you are welcome to the house: if not, and it would please you to take leaue of her, she is very willing to bid you farewell
To. Farewell deere heart, since I must needs be gone
Mar. Nay good Sir Toby
Clo. His eyes do shew his dayes are almost done
Mal. Is't euen so? To. But I will neuer dye
Clo. Sir Toby there you lye
Mal. This is much credit to you
To. Shall I bid him go
Clo. What and if you do? To. Shall I bid him go, and spare not? Clo. O no, no, no, no, you dare not
To. Out o' tune sir, ye lye: Art any more then a Steward? Dost thou thinke because thou art vertuous, there shall be no more Cakes and Ale? Clo. Yes by S[aint]. Anne, and Ginger shall bee hotte y'th mouth too
To. Th'art i'th right. Goe sir, rub your Chaine with crums. A stope of Wine Maria
Mal. Mistris Mary, if you priz'd my Ladies fauour at any thing more then contempt, you would not giue meanes for this vnciuill rule; she shall know of it by this hand.
Exit
Mar. Go shake your eares
An. 'Twere as good a deede as to drink when a mans a hungrie, to challenge him the field, and then to breake promise with him, and make a foole of him
To. Doo't knight, Ile write thee a Challenge: or Ile deliuer thy indignation to him by word of mouth
Mar. Sweet Sir Toby be patient for to night: Since the youth of the Counts was to day with my Lady, she is much out of quiet. For Monsieur Maluolio, let me alone with him: If I do not gull him into a nayword, and make him a common recreation, do not thinke I haue witte enough to lye straight in my bed: I know I can do it
To. Possesse vs, possesse vs, tell vs something of him
Mar. Marrie sir, sometimes he is a kinde of Puritane
An. O, if I thought that, Ide beate him like a dogge
To. What for being a Puritan, thy exquisite reason, deere knight
An. I haue no exquisite reason for't, but I haue reason good enough
Mar. The diu'll a Puritane that hee is, or any thing constantly but a time-pleaser, an affection'd Asse, that cons State without booke, and vtters it by great swarths. The best perswaded of himselfe: so cram'd (as he thinkes) with excellencies, that it is his grounds of faith, that all that looke on him, loue him: and on that vice in him, will my reuenge finde notable cause to worke
To. What wilt thou do? Mar. I will drop in his way some obscure Epistles of loue, wherein by the colour of his beard, the shape of his legge, the manner of his gate, the expressure of his eye, forehead, and complection, he shall finde himselfe most feelingly personated. I can write very like my Ladie your Neece, on a forgotten matter wee can hardly make distinction of our hands