To. Wouldst thou not be glad to haue the niggardly Rascally sheepe-biter, come by some notable shame? Fa. I would exult man: you know he brought me out o' fauour with my Lady, about a Beare-baiting heere
To. To anger him wee'l haue the Beare againe, and we will foole him blacke and blew, shall we not sir Andrew? An. And we do not, it is pittie of our liues. Enter Maria.
To. Heere comes the little villaine: How now my Mettle of India? Mar. Get ye all three into the box tree: Maluolio's comming downe this walke, he has beene yonder i'the Sunne practising behauiour to his own shadow this halfe houre: obserue him for the loue of Mockerie: for I know this Letter wil make a contemplatiue Ideot of him. Close in the name of ieasting, lye thou there: for heere comes the Trowt, that must be caught with tickling.
Exit
Enter Maluolio.
Mal. 'Tis but Fortune, all is fortune. Maria once told me she did affect me, and I haue heard her self come thus neere, that should shee fancie, it should bee one of my complection. Besides she vses me with a more exalted respect, then any one else that followes her. What should I thinke on't? To. Heere's an ouer-weening rogue
Fa. Oh peace: Contemplation makes a rare Turkey Cocke of him, how he iets vnder his aduanc'd plumes
And. Slight I could so beate the Rogue
To. Peace I say
Mal. To be Count Maluolio
To. Ah Rogue
An. Pistoll him, pistoll him
To. Peace, peace
Mal. There is example for't: The Lady of the Strachy, married the yeoman of the wardrobe
An. Fie on him Iezabel
Fa. O peace, now he's deepely in: looke how imagination blowes him
Mal. Hauing beene three moneths married to her, sitting in my state
To. O for a stone-bow to hit him in the eye
Mal. Calling my Officers about me, in my branch'd Veluet gowne: hauing come from a day bedde, where I haue left Oliuia sleeping
To. Fire and Brimstone
Fa. O peace, peace
Mal. And then to haue the humor of state: and after a demure trauaile of regard: telling them I knowe my place, as I would they should doe theirs: to aske for my kinsman Toby
To. Boltes and shackles
Fa. Oh peace, peace, peace, now, now
Mal. Seauen of my people with an obedient start, make out for him: I frowne the while, and perchance winde vp my watch, or play with my some rich Iewell: Toby approaches; curtsies there to me
To. Shall this fellow liue? Fa. Though our silence be drawne from vs with cars, yet peace
Mal. I extend my hand to him thus: quenching my familiar smile with an austere regard of controll
To. And do's not Toby take you a blow o'the lippes, then? Mal. Saying, Cosine Toby, my Fortunes hauing cast me on your Neece, giue me this prerogatiue of speech
To. What, what? Mal. You must amend your drunkennesse
To. Out scab
Fab. Nay patience, or we breake the sinewes of our plot? Mal. Besides you waste the treasure of your time, with a foolish knight
And. That's mee I warrant you
Mal. One sir Andrew
And. I knew 'twas I, for many do call mee foole
Mal. What employment haue we heere? Fa. Now is the Woodcocke neere the gin
To. Oh peace, and the spirit of humors intimate reading aloud to him