Actus Quartus, Scaena prima.
Enter Sebastian and Clowne
Clo. Will you make me beleeue, that I am not sent for you? Seb. Go too, go too, thou art a foolish fellow, Let me be cleere of thee
Clo. Well held out yfaith: No, I do not know you, nor I am not sent to you by my Lady, to bid you come speake with her: nor your name is not Master Cesario, nor this is not my nose neyther: Nothing that is so, is so
Seb. I prethee vent thy folly some-where else, thou know'st not me
Clo. Vent my folly: He has heard that word of some great man, and now applyes it to a foole. Vent my folly: I am affraid this great lubber the World will proue a Cockney: I prethee now vngird thy strangenes, and tell me what I shall vent to my Lady? Shall I vent to hir that thou art comming? Seb. I prethee foolish greeke depart from me, there's money for thee, if you tarry longer, I shall giue worse paiment
Clo. By my troth thou hast an open hand: these Wisemen that giue fooles money, get themselues a good report, after foureteene yeares purchase. Enter Andrew, Toby, and Fabian.
And. Now sir, haue I met you again: ther's for you
Seb. Why there's for thee, and there, and there, Are all the people mad? To. Hold sir, or Ile throw your dagger ore the house Clo. This will I tell my Lady straight, I would not be in some of your coats for two pence
To. Come on sir, hold
An. Nay let him alone, Ile go another way to worke with him: Ile haue an action of Battery against him, if there be any law in Illyria: though I stroke him first, yet it's no matter for that
Seb. Let go thy hand
To. Come sir, I will not let you go. Come my yong souldier put vp your yron: you are well flesh'd: Come on
Seb. I will be free from thee. What wouldst y now? If thou dar'st tempt me further, draw thy sword
To. What, what? Nay then I must haue an Ounce or two of this malapert blood from you. Enter Oliuia.
Ol. Hold Toby, on thy life I charge thee hold
Ol. Will it be euer thus? Vngracious wretch, Fit for the Mountaines, and the barbarous Caues, Where manners nere were preach'd: out of my sight. Be not offended, deere Cesario: Rudesbey be gone. I prethee gentle friend, Let thy fayre wisedome, not thy passion sway In this vnciuill, and vniust extent Against thy peace. Go with me to my house, And heare thou there how many fruitlesse prankes This Ruffian hath botch'd vp, that thou thereby Mayst smile at this: Thou shalt not choose but goe: Do not denie, beshrew his soule for mee, He started one poore heart of mine, in thee
Seb. What rellish is in this? How runs the streame? Or I am mad, or else this is a dreame: Let fancie still my sense in Lethe steepe, If it be thus to dreame, still let me sleepe
Ol. Nay come I prethee, would thoud'st be rul'd by me Seb. Madam, I will
Ol. O say so, and so be.
Enter Maria and Clowne.
Mar. Nay, I prethee put on this gown, & this beard, make him beleeue thou art sir Topas the Curate, doe it quickly. Ile call sir Toby the whilst
Clo. Well, Ile put it on, and I will dissemble my selfe in't, and I would I were the first that euer dissembled in in such a gowne. I am not tall enough to become the function well, nor leane enough to bee thought a good Studient: but to be said an honest man and a good houskeeper goes as fairely, as to say, a carefull man, & a great scholler. The Competitors enter. Enter Toby.